Intro. The beginning of this story of the marriage of Michal and David reads almost like a fairytale. The teenage princess Michal is in love with David who is a commoner. So we have the fair princess in love with the young rugged handsome pauper who also is just a teenager but has become a national hero. In those days it was a custom to pay a dowry for the bride, and what kind of a dowry could a pauper give a king? The king was in favor of the marriage, so he set a dowry that involved danger and heroics instead of money which David gladly accomplished. But this is not a fairly tale but real life so the story does not end with them living happily ever after, but they become separated by bitterness. What makes some marriages go sour?
I. IN THE BEGINNING MICHAL'S LOVE FOR DAVID MANIFESTED.
A. Her father, the king, had become obsessively jealous of his son-in-law to the point of seeking to kill him, for he saw him as a rival to the throne.
1. Michal knew the intention of her father, and at the risk of her own life aided David in escaping from their house to safety.
2. For this she faced the wrath of her father.
B. In the years that her father was pursuing David seeking to kill him, her father gave her in marriage to another man, who seemed to love her.
C. Years have passed and her father is now dead, and David has been anointed as king over the tribe of Judah, and Michal's brother has been acclaimed as king over the Northern tribes, as dissatisfaction has arisen over his reign, emissaries have contacted David wanting to come and speak to him about becoming king over all of Israel, David set one of requirements for seeing him was to bring Michal with them.
1. About twenty years had elapsed, and there were many changes that had taken place in the lives of these two young lovers.
2. It seems that Michal had found true love in her new husband, and is now being forced to leave him for a man who is almost a total stranger to her now.
3. In the meantime, David himself has taken several wives. He is no longer that young dashing youth that had swept her off her feet. He has become a seasoned, hardened, sophisticated man.
4. I think that David is at fault for demanding that she become his wife once again. I think that this is a thing of pride on David's part.
5. I think that Michal resented being taken from the complete devotion of one man, to have to share the attention and devotion of David with several other women.
D. The scriptures never condone polygamy.
1. In fact quite the opposite.
a. "For this cause shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."
2. Foreseeing that the people would one day demand a king, God in the law gave commandments to the king.
When you have come into the land which the LORD your God has given you and you are possessing it, and you say, I will set a king over me, like as all the nations that [are] about me;
You shall not set a king over you who has not been chosen by the LORD your God. For God shall choose: from among your brothers one that he has set for your king. You are not to choose a stranger to rule over you who is not your brother.
He shall not multiply horses to himself, nor cause the people to return to Egypt, for the purpose of multiplying horses: for the LORD hath said unto you, Ye shall not return that way.
Neither shall he multiply wives to himself, that his heart turn not away: neither shall he greatly multiply to himself silver and gold.
And it shall be, when he sits upon the throne of his kingdom, that he shall write a copy of this law in a book before the priests the Levites:
And he shall read it all the days of his life: that he may learn to fear the LORD his God, to keep all the words of this law and these statutes, to do them:
That his heart be not lifted up above his brethren, and that he turn not aside from the commandment, [to] the right hand, or [to] the left: to the end that he may prolong [his] days in his kingdom,
E. In Psalm 1
David speaks of the blessedness of the man who meditates in the law of the Lord day and night, but David did not keep the law of the Lord.
1. He no doubt knew of this command not to multiply wives, yet this is the very thing he did.
2. It should be noted that it was not without dire consequences.
3. The half children of David's became a real problem in the home. One of his sons murdered one of his half brothers and tried to usurp the kingdom from David.
F. In our story we find that the multiplying of wives also created interpersonal problems with his wives.
II. DAVID HAD A DESIRE TO BRING THE ARK OF THE COVENANT TO THE TABERNACLE IN JERUSALEM.
A. The first attempt ended in disaster.
1. Though he was doing the right thing, he was doing it in the wrong way.
2. He had followed the example of the Philistines by placing it in a cart.
3. The law said that it was to carried by the priests.
4. Upon the death of one of drivers of the cart who touched the Ark seeking to steady it when the cart went over a bump. David left the Ark where it stood.
5. David then inquired of the priests as to how the Ark was to be transported and now is bringing the Ark to Jerusalem borne on the shoulders of the priests as the law had prescribed.
6. As they came into Jerusalem there was great joy and celebration.
a. David had taken off his royal garments and was wearing just a linen robe of a commoner.
b. David was dancing with all his might before the Ark as it was brought into the city.
c. It was a time of great exuberance, and it is at this point that we read that Michal looked out of the window and saw David leaping and dancing before the Lord and she despised him in her heart.
7. When David had blessed the people and sent them away, as he returned home to bless his house, David was really pumped up, this was one of those high experiences of his life, but Michal met him at the door and with great scorn and sarcasm said: How glorious was the king of Israel to day, who uncovered himself today in the eyes of the handmaids of his servants, as one of the vain fellows shamelessly uncovers himself! She was referring to the fact that he had removed his royal garments and wore the garment of a commoner.
a. What a cutting remark to make, and at such an inappropriate time.
b. How the tongue can be used to cut people down. To take them from the heights and bring them to the depths.
c. Solomon said that death and life are in the power of the tongue. It can build a marriage or destroy a marriage.
d. Solomon also said of the virtuous woman, that the law of kindness is in her tongue.
e. James said, "How great a forest fire can rage from a small spark. The tongue is a fire, filled with iniquity, it can be like the fire of hell defiling our whole body. It is an unruly evil filled with deadly poison."
f. The tongue can be used to bless another person or the same tongue to curse, and can cut them to pieces.
8. Michal was using her tongue as a sword against David. Have you ever noticed how that when one person decides to use their tongue as a sword, that the person who has been cut will immediately draw their sword and begin to swing back?
a. How quickly a marriage which God intends to be a duet, the two shall become one, becomes instead a duel.
b. Each one cutting the other with their tongues.
9. David responds to her nasty remark with a nasty remark of his own.
And David said unto Michal, I was dancing before the LORD, which chose me above your father, and above all his house, and appointed me ruler over the people of the LORD, over Israel: therefore will I play before the LORD. And I will be even more vile than this, and will be base in mine own sight: and of the maidservants which you have spoken, they shall hold me in honor.
a. He could have just answered, I was dancing before the Lord. He did not need to throw in the dig, "Who chose me above your father and his house, and I will do as I please."
b. Our natural response to being cut is to seek to cut back.
c. It is so hard to bite our tongues, but how many times afterwards we wished that we had.
d. Solomon said: PRO 18:19
An offended brother is harder to be won than a strong city: You can say that about a offended husband or wife also.
III. THE SAD ENDING, THEREFORE MICHAL THE DAUGHTER OF SAUL HAD NO CHILD UNTO THE
DAY OF HER DEATH.
A. It would appear that David just ignored her and had nothing further to do with her.
B. Having so many other wives he felt no pressure to make up with her again.
C. What do you suppose prompted Michal to make such a cutting remark?
1. There must have been something simmering below the surface.
2. It is possible that she could not take the fact that her husband seemed to have so many loves. That she just could not bring herself to share the love of her husband with so many other women. That would be understandable.
3. That phrase "She despised him in her heart."
4. That which first attracted her to him, his unabashed demonstration of emotion and exuberance has now become abhorrent to her.
D. God has given two rules for a successful lasting marriage. One for the husband and one for the wife.
1. For the husband, God said, "Love your wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it."
a. In that commandment God took into consideration the woman's greatest need. The security of knowing that her loves her supremely. After Eve sinned in the garden, God said of the woman, "Her desire shall be to her husband." She desires to know that her husband loves her supremely. That there is not another woman in the world that could attract him. She finds security in that love.
c. Being the weaker vessel, she looks to him for protection, and provision,
b. God said to the wife, submit yourself to your own husband as unto the Lord. God was taking into consideration, man's greatest need, the loving approval of his wife. Her trust in his ability to make the right decisions and to guide the home.
c. Here Michal is striking at the very core of the relationship. Rather than complimenting and rejoicing with David for the return of the Ark, she speaks scornfully to him.
d. David responds with a coldness and aloofness, that it appears was never healed. The statement that she had no child to the day of her death, seems to indicate that David never again became intimate with her.
e. That is a far cry from, "And they lived happily ever after."
f. Many marriages have fallen on hard times just as David's and Michal's. It is not a duet, but a duel. There is constant cutting and pain. You have broken the rules, who? Usually both. The husband has failed to assure his wife of his love. She in turn, because of her insecurity, is continually challenging him. Every issue becomes a duel.
g. How can it be healed? By both confessing their sin, for these are not God's suggestions for marriage, but commands. Then do your first works over. Husbands assure your wife that she is the most important woman in your life, that you love her even as Christ loved the church, that you would lay down your life for her. Wives, let your husband be a man, don't be constantly challenging his decisions. Set aside your swords, and let your words be filled with grace, seasoned with salt.